Soulful Community
Power Comparison, continued
Hierarchical vs. Horizontal
Worldly power originates from the basic misunderstanding that exerting influence or control over another is what makes us powerful. It is about power over, and most commonly depends on our being able to squelch or step on others to feel powerful. This encourages negative competition, a dog-eat-dog atmosphere, and the ongoing struggle to get on top of the heap.
Soulful power is horizontal; it is about power with rather than power over. It stands freely on its own and is not an overcompensation for subconscious or repressed feelings of powerlessness. It simply is. People possessed of authentic power do not abuse or seek to impose their agenda on anyone else. Neither do they need to establish their authority and disavow another of their sovereignty. Soulful power involves self-expression and authentic communication.
Fear/Control/Force vs. Guidance/ Inspiration/Love
Worldly power tends to control by fear, force, and intimidation. Its modus operandi involves overpowering others. This is clearly, and sadly, the way of the world. Fear underlies the actions of egoic power, which are frequently expressed with force. How many more wars will it take for us to learn that vengeance and violence only begets more of the same?
It is more powerful, more courageous, to break the cycles of violent power. The word courage comes from the French coeur, which means “heart.” Soulful power comes from the heart. It is ultimately about love—not wimpy, airy-fairy, pseudo-love, but a fierce and powerful love that transcends all, including time and space. If there is one word we associate with heroism, it is courage. Soulful power is authentic and natural, and it does not seek to force its agenda on others—although those who have soulful power can certainly take a fierce and implacable stand in the face of injustice. Soulful power is persuasive, not coercive, and attains its ends by guidance and inspiration. Soulful power does not control or micromanage but flows with life’s surprises and the unpredictability of human nature. Said simply: Authentic power is free and seeks to set others free.
“Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. True power is within, and it is available to you now.”
—Eckhart Tolle
Abusive vs. Respectful
Egoic power is often abused or expressed in an excessively forceful fashion. Power imbalance and abuse are clearly presenting themselves for us to take a closer look. Abuse of power occurs when the person carrying it out has control of the circumstances in a situation whether through legal authority or sheer dominance.
Soulful power has deep respect for the implications of power and is mindful about expressing it in accord with the needs of each circumstance. Good people managers (and parents) know how to calibrate messages and instructions so that different team members (and children) can better hear them. Sometimes a more authoritative and directive approach is needed. With another team member, a softer message is more effective. While the egoic approach is to point fingers and pull rank, soulful power invites response and participation—and is no less powerful.
Exclusive vs. Inclusive
Pseudo-power seeks to hoard power. It shares reluctantly when there is no other choice or when a particular alliance will benefit its own agenda. Its basic premise is one of fear and lack. Anyone else’s expression of power, or their efforts to gain power, is viewed as a threat. It actively seeks to squelch those threats with preemptive action.
Worldly power is secretive, protected, and withholding of information, whereas soulful power is transparent and allows for the free flow of information and emotions. It does not shut down. While worldly power sees emotions as a weakness and lives as if under siege in a state of defensiveness, soulful power embraces vulnerability as strength. It is so secure in itself that there is no need to defend anything. In fact, soulful power seeks to empower others. It understands that power is not a zero-sum game. It is confident and self-sufficient and knows that another’s power does not diminish its own. It seeks to expand rather than limit power.
Reactive/Impulsive vs Responsive/At Choice
At the same time egoic power is planning and scheming, it tends to live in a stressful state of fear and defensiveness. This approach, which may result in impulsive reactivity, is often harmful and readily lends itself to abuse. Even the “preemptive strike” mentality is reactive, aimed at a perceived threat to its security or status. Reactivity frequently leads to regret and broken relationships.
Soulful power is restrained and mindful of its potential effects on others. Carefully evaluating options, it acts and responds from a place of choice, rather than an automatic reaction. This requires radical self-honesty, self-discipline, mindfulness, and a constant evaluation of motives.